


Be Not So Fearful

by orphan_account



Series: Supernatural x Reader Fics [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: No Smut, No pairing - Freeform, Other, References to Supernatural (TV), Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 07:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9224507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dean hears the voice of his mom singing to him as he plans to sacrifice his life to save the world [again]. (Song is Be Not So Fearful by A.C. Newman)*SEASON ELEVEN SPOILERS!!*(There is no plagiarism or copying of someone else's writing involved. It's my story.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do know that the song Mary always sang to Sam and Dean was Hey Jude by The Beatles, but for the purpose of writing this story & the challenge I wrote it for, I made it this song. Carry on.

“Be not so nervous, be not so frail  
Someone watches you, you will not fail  
Be not so nervous, be not so frail  
Be not so nervous, be not so frail”

Dean heard the voice when he slept, singing the words to him softly as he laid down to sleep. The voice of his mother, carding a hand through his hair as she sang the lullaby he’s heard since before he was born.

He’s been hearing it more often lately, since the whole ordeal with The Darkness began. It was like she knew what was happening, the inner battles Dean was fighting daily. His mother, encouraging him to keep on, despite the odds stacked against them.

Sure, God was dying and Lucifer was possessing Cas and Dean could do nothing about it; his mother’s voice was still clear in his head, telling him to be strong.

_

“Be not so sorry for what you've done  
You must forget them now, it's done  
And when you wake up you will find you can run  
Be not so sorry for what you've done”

Today was the day. Everyone was ready for Dean to save the day, like the Winchesters always do. Dean brought his brother close, knowing it would be the last time he would be able to convey how much love he has for his little brother. All of that love, expressed in one short embrace of the famous Winchester brothers.

He told Cas to take care of Sammy, and thus he became the human time bomb.

“Listen, if -- when -- when this works, Sam -- he's gonna be a mess. So look out for him, okay? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.” Dean’s voice was soft and gravelly, the emotions of the day taking their toll.

“Of course.” Castiel’s affirmation meant more to Dean than he could say, words escaping him.

_

As he was walking in the garden and talking with Amara, he heard his mother’s voice once more singing to him through the veil.

“Be not so fearful, be not so pale  
Someone watches you, you will not leave the rails  
Be not so fearful, be not so pale  
Be not so fearful, be not so pale”

“Well, I can't just stand by and watch the world, my friends, and my family die. So if becoming a part of you takes me away from that, then I'm in.”

“You... and that bomb in your chest? Do you think I can't taste the power coming off of you? Please. The problem is you've never been able to hurt me. So what makes this time any different?” Amara was full of herself, feeling like she had finally won.

_

“My brother betrayed me. He locked me away for billions of years. He sent you to execute me.” Amara continued, trying to mask the pain in her voice.

“No, no. No. He zapped me here, yes, but he didn't want this. This wasn't his idea. You're family. He doesn't want you dead. He doesn't want any of this!” Dean was desperately trying to get through to Amara, understandably wary of actually using the souls inside. “Is this what you wanted?”

“No! I just wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him pay.” For an omniscient being, she was kind of naive.

“Yeah, that's revenge. It'll get you out of bed in the morning, and when you get it, it feels great... for about five minutes. I've been there. Me and Sam -- we have had our fair share of fights -- more than our share -- but no matter how bad it got, we always made it right because we're family. I need him. He needs me. And when everything goes to crap, that's all you've got -- family. Now you might be a -- an all-powerful being... but I think you're human where it counts. You simply need your brother.” Dean was speaking from the heart; some part of his soul hearing the voices of all those he has lost, and will lose once the plan goes as it should.

“Be not so sorry for what you've done  
You must forget them now, it's done  
And when you wake up you will find you can run  
Be not so sorry for what you've done”

“Just stop. You don't want to be alone. Not really. I mean, hell. Maybe that's why you wanted me. But deep down, you didn't really want me... 'cause I'm not him. So maybe I can kill you. Or maybe I can't. Maybe if I pull this trigger, we all live happily ever after, or maybe we die bloody, or maybe it doesn't matter, because maybe there's a different way. So I'm gonna ask you again. Put aside the rage. Put aside the hate. And you tell me... what do you want?”

 

The more Dean talked, the more it all fell into place. He finally understood what he had been so clueless about in recent years. It was like a light bulb was replaced, the old one charred and shattered. But what use did the new light bulb have now, now that Dean was probably about to die?

“Brother, I... In the beginning... it was just you and me, and we were family. I loved you, and I thought -- I knew... that you loved me.” Amara began talking to her brother, the first honest conversation they have had in eons that didn’t involve destroying things.

“I did,” The words left Chuck’s lips instantly, followed by a sigh. “I do.”

“But then you went and you made all these other things. I hated them. I hated you for needing something else, something that wasn't me. And then you locked me away, and all I could think about was making you suffer. You had your reasons,” Amara continued.

“I did.” Chuck interrupted his older sister.

“And I thought revenge would make me happy. But I was wrong. What you've made... it's beautiful. It took me a long time to see that. I know that we can't go back to the way things were. I don't want to, but I wish... I wish that we could just be family again.”

Dean felt the scene was too personal for him to be included in, but where could he go? Nowhere. So he listened to the two most powerful beings in all of existence, the ones who created existence, discuss their issues and resolve them.

“I do too.” The affirmation of Chuck agreeing with what Amara wanted was like a waterfall of relief over Dean. He wasn’t going to die today. He would be able to go back to his brother and his angel and everything he held dear.

Dean would hug his brother tighter, tell Cas that he was appreciated more often, he would take better care of Baby if he didn’t already.

Amara hovered her hand in front of Chuck’s chest, a soft glow emitting from both the hand and Chuck’s chest.

“Better?” Amara asks Chuck.

“Better.” He confirms.

Dean didn’t want to interrupt, but he had a pressing question that needed to be answered.

“What about us? What about Earth?” It was as if the two omniscient beings forgot Dean’s presence. They probably did.

“Earth will be fine. It's got you... and Sam.” Dean was humbled by Chuck’s words.

“Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.”

Amara’s statement confused him, but before he could ask what she was talking about, the two of them disappeared into the clouds, Amara’s black essence swirling around Chuck’s.

Dean was zapped to a familiar cemetery. He stumbled through the bushes confusedly, standing and walking into the clearing.

The woman waiting for him was the owner of the voice. The one that soothed him when he was scared, that tucked him in at night with a kiss on the head and the tucking in of his blankets.

“Mom?”


End file.
